Hate Gratitude Lists? Do This Instead

Of all the well-being practices, I struggle with gratitude lists the most. Not out of lack of trying — I’ve sat at my table every morning for months listing 10 things I’m grateful for…

You get it. It goes on and on, and yet, no matter what I put on the list, it just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t get the feeling of being grateful — which is the whole point. These lists feel so detached to me. So, I created my own versions instead. 

Everyday I recall, in detail, one unique encounter that I’m thankful for — instead of making a broad list. 

What I value the most in my life are my relationships with other people, so I figured this is where I should be focusing my practice. I recall a time someone did something kind for me, or made my life better in any way. Big or small, anything that made me feel special/thankful/lucky to have them in my life. Like a friend going out of their way to bring me medicine when I’m sick, or a boss expressing his faith in me. Maybe it’s just knowing that I have the kind of people I can count on in a time of need. Whatever it is, I focus on the moment, and let the gratitude flood in.

Take a breath and feel grateful in the moment.

There are so many things I’m grateful for everyday that I take for granted. Instead of writing them on a list, which feels removed, I try to be present and have a moment of appreciation for them while they’re in use. These moments happen every day, it’s more a matter of taking the time to notice them.

Ex: When I have to run across the street to make the light, I say in my head “I’m thankful I’m able to move my body.” When I wake up and hear the rain, I take a moment to feel thankful for my shelter from it. 

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Regardless of whether you use mine, or make your own, I hope to serve as a reminder that you can always adapt practices to work for you. Personalizing them doesn’t mean we’re “doing it wrong.” The only incorrect wellness practices are the ones that leave you feeling bad. So take what serves you, and leave what doesn’t!